Mail-Order Groom

by Lisa Low
after Ali Wong

I flip through a catalog
             of mail-order grooms.

I want one from a colonizing
             country, the whiter the better.

I want the hair & disposition
             of a golden retriever. I want

money sprouting from his follicles
             like Rapunzel. I want him strong

& soft as a rope of hair. Like toilet
             paper. I want his last name

changed to mine. I want a buy one,
             give one: another white husband

for a friend. When he comes to me,
             I want him to kneel between

my legs like he’s expecting
             to represent his entire race.

Lisa Low was born and raised in Maryland. Her poems have appeared or are forthcoming in Nashville Review, Entropy, Cream City Review, The Journal, Vinyl, and elsewhere, and her nonfiction is forthcoming in Gulf Coast. A graduate of Indiana University’s MFA program, she is a PhD candidate and Yates Fellow at the University of Cincinnati. For more, visit